Are you a Poker Addict?
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009 at
4:02 pm
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Daphne Greene asked:
Poker has recently taken the world by storm, and what was once an illegal endeavor played in dangerous alleys is now a worldwide sensation. Hurray for poker, but the increase in popularity has its many downsides: few players realize that anywhere from four to seven percent of all people playing in casinos are gambling addicts.
Yet, even if many poker players are addicts, the vast majority remains unaware of their disease. How can you find out if you are a poker addict? Below is a sure-fire list of warning signs to look out for. For each description that fits, give yourself 1 point.
1. When you go to McDonald’s you ask for a side of “Pocket Rockets” with your Big Mac.
2. During sports games with your friends you refer to the first break as “The Turn” and the second break as “The River”.
3. You once sold your favorite pet so that you could get into a Party Poker tournament.
4. After losing a big tournament you console yourself by watching “Rounders”.
5. After winning a big tournament you celebrate by watching “Rounders”.
6. You have a blow up doll with Jennifer Tilly’s face taped on it. For women, you have a ******* photo of Howard “The Professor” Lederer that you stare at every night before falling asleep.
7. In the back of your room is a huge cabinet full of WSOP tapes that you recorded on your VCR.
8. You call Doyle Brunson’s book Super System “The Good Book.”
9. Your idea of foreplay is playing a few hands of Omaha.
10. Once, after a long night of drinking you thought it would be wise to eat some poker chips for late night munchies.
11. You bring a travel case full of cards, chips and a portable felt table on nature hikes.
12. One time you pretended to be homeless and begged for money because you spent your rent money on cards after convincing yourself you were bound to hit your Flush.
13. The last time you had a boyfriend or girlfriend was 1999, right before the Texas Hold’em revolution.
14. You traded your limited edition Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Magazine for a vintage **** poster of Doyle Brunson.
15. The last time you won money at the tables was two years ago and you’re convinced your luck will return “any day now.”
16. You sold one kidney on the black market to raise money for a trip to Pechanga.
17. Then you sold your grandmother to the Chinese for medical experiments after running out of money… again.
18. After finally winning a tournament you were lucky enough to buy her back only to find out she had your kidney!
19. You only leave your house to buy Red Bulls and attend funerals. But you make sure to bring your laptop along so you can squeeze a turbo tourney.
20. Your idea of a vigorous workout is shuffling cards for an hour.
If you scored 0-5, consider yourself addiction free!
If you scored 6-10, you should reevaluate your life because you may be headed down a slippery slope towards poker addiction.
If you scored 11-15, you are definitely a poker addict. Repent, before it’s too late!
If you scored higher than a 15, you should be afraid. Very, very afraid.
Content by. Mortgage Loans
Poker has recently taken the world by storm, and what was once an illegal endeavor played in dangerous alleys is now a worldwide sensation. Hurray for poker, but the increase in popularity has its many downsides: few players realize that anywhere from four to seven percent of all people playing in casinos are gambling addicts.
Yet, even if many poker players are addicts, the vast majority remains unaware of their disease. How can you find out if you are a poker addict? Below is a sure-fire list of warning signs to look out for. For each description that fits, give yourself 1 point.
1. When you go to McDonald’s you ask for a side of “Pocket Rockets” with your Big Mac.
2. During sports games with your friends you refer to the first break as “The Turn” and the second break as “The River”.
3. You once sold your favorite pet so that you could get into a Party Poker tournament.
4. After losing a big tournament you console yourself by watching “Rounders”.
5. After winning a big tournament you celebrate by watching “Rounders”.
6. You have a blow up doll with Jennifer Tilly’s face taped on it. For women, you have a ******* photo of Howard “The Professor” Lederer that you stare at every night before falling asleep.
7. In the back of your room is a huge cabinet full of WSOP tapes that you recorded on your VCR.
8. You call Doyle Brunson’s book Super System “The Good Book.”
9. Your idea of foreplay is playing a few hands of Omaha.
10. Once, after a long night of drinking you thought it would be wise to eat some poker chips for late night munchies.
11. You bring a travel case full of cards, chips and a portable felt table on nature hikes.
12. One time you pretended to be homeless and begged for money because you spent your rent money on cards after convincing yourself you were bound to hit your Flush.
13. The last time you had a boyfriend or girlfriend was 1999, right before the Texas Hold’em revolution.
14. You traded your limited edition Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Magazine for a vintage **** poster of Doyle Brunson.
15. The last time you won money at the tables was two years ago and you’re convinced your luck will return “any day now.”
16. You sold one kidney on the black market to raise money for a trip to Pechanga.
17. Then you sold your grandmother to the Chinese for medical experiments after running out of money… again.
18. After finally winning a tournament you were lucky enough to buy her back only to find out she had your kidney!
19. You only leave your house to buy Red Bulls and attend funerals. But you make sure to bring your laptop along so you can squeeze a turbo tourney.
20. Your idea of a vigorous workout is shuffling cards for an hour.
If you scored 0-5, consider yourself addiction free!
If you scored 6-10, you should reevaluate your life because you may be headed down a slippery slope towards poker addiction.
If you scored 11-15, you are definitely a poker addict. Repent, before it’s too late!
If you scored higher than a 15, you should be afraid. Very, very afraid.
Content by. Mortgage Loans


